Diced Pears (A Lllama Original Play)

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Diced Pears

[lights up. Kara is sitting in a bean bag chair, staring intently at a can sitting on a table about 5 feet away from her. Dave enters]

Dave: [looks at can, Kara, can] Do I even want to know what you’re doing?

Dave: That’s about what I was afraid of.[picks up the can, reads label] Why pears?

Kate: They’re softer than most canned stuff, they’ll be easier to control, [takes the can away from him and puts it back] besides, it’s the only canned stuff Mom keeps in the house.

Dave: You know, I’ve got this sudden craving for pears suspended in sugar water…[grabs can and runs across stage until caught by Kara] Yummy… [struggle]

Kara: Reality is just what you perceive, so if I believe I can move the pears, then I can.

Dave: [sigh] Well, if reality is just perceptive, and I don’t allow myself to perceive that can of pears being altered by your "psychic powers," then nothing’s really happened.

Dave: But it is true! You can’t say that your beliefs change your reality without admitting that my beliefs change mine!

Dave: How can I calm down? My sister is insisting that she can will herself to have psychic powers so she can open a can of diced pears from five feet away!

Kara: Look, Dave, as far as you’re concerned, it’s impossible for me to move that can of diced pears. Even if I managed to do it, you would not allow yourself to see it, right?

Dave: Just shut up, ok? You can make up stuff about the karmic energy of diced pears, I can make up words. Now as I was saying, You can’t accept one side without accepting the other! Either we’re both equally right, which means you’re wrong, or we’re both equally wrong, in which case I’m still right!

Kara: That’s the best you can do? Man, I must have wound up with all the intelligent genes.

Kara: I think reality, real objective reality, is just the sum of everyone’s perceptions.

Kara: Look, you can say that you didn’t see the can move, but if I saw it, then at least for me it happened, so you can have two contradictory things be true.

Kara: No, it’s just… Ok, if reality is perceptive, but there is one reality based on the sum of all the perceptions, maybe everyone watching something incredible has to believe it.

Dave: Oh, no! The last time I actually fell for this, you shoved mud so far up my nostrils they had to take me to the emergency room!

Dave: All the more time for you to devise an even more diabolical evil scheme!

Kara: Oh, for crying out loud. [covers his eyes with her hands] Just picture a shape, ok?

Dave: Well, yeah, but it wasn’t really you that did that, it was more chance that got it right.

Dave: Right [held out]… all right, I’m out of here, you're freaking me out. If an evil spirit infests you or something don’t go near me. [Looks for some response, nothing happens. Kara stares at can. Dave begins to exit stage right, then turns suddenly, like he saw a motion out of the corner of his eye] Did that can just move?