Tuesday, May 1st
Had Lunch with Naomi again. As we were walking outside, I ran into Herr Goetz, my german teacher, and jokingly asked him if he knew why the trees smelled like fish. "I don't know," he responded. "I thought someone had thrown some food over there," he gestured by a sheltered corner next to the door, "and it was rotting." Well, with quotes like that, who needs fiction? I pulled out a notebook and jotted down the remark. Then, genius struck. The fish trees were not only a topic of conversation among my odd friends, but most of the people sitting outside. It was time for the administration to hear our voice, it was time for the story to be brought to light. It was time for a lone, brave investigative reporter to get to the bottom of all this, and make some noise.
But first I needed a solid base of student and staff testimony. I gathered comments from the people eating with us, then wandered to a group eating right under the stinky influence of the fish trees. "They smell like $#*!" Anda replied immediately to my question. Many others agreed. Will, however, seemed to be delerious from the fumes, and all he could say was "Moo." Most of gym class was spent continuing to gather quotes as I kicked some major @$$ at pickle ball, as was my time in the halls, only there were fewer pickle balls there. I spoke to Mr. Wherli and Mrs. Custard, both administrative types in our school, and asked them to comment. Although her quotes were perfect, the dean asked not to be quoted for fear of offending someone. Mr. Wherli, however, was not ashamed of wondering if some kind of fish fertilizer had been used on the trees. This would definitely require further investigation.
I had to test the trees, to see if they smelled, or if it were the ground around them. In the name of science, I broke off a small twig with a few flowers on it and took a whiff. Holy poo on a stick, did that ever smell! Why on earth would anyone choose these trees? I repeated the question of so many others. Were they really cheap? (Two dollars a sapling! What a bargain!) Did the purchaser have no nasal cavity? Or was this a plot to get America's overweight youth to stop eating so much greasy cafeteria food? Unfortunately, the principal, Scott, was unavailable after school, so I would have to save my questions for the next day.
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